I am lost.

Operating without a training plan sucks. Not being able (or really willing) to work out alone sucks. Not having motivation for a triathlon in FOUR weeks sucks.

To correct that, I've worked out alone. I went cycling alone, I ran alone. It wasn't nearly as fun. The bike was productive, I pushed myself. The run was only cut short due to time. I know I can do these things.

Frustrated this week.

Packed and ready for the pool in the morning. Everything's all set up. Coffee, towels, shampoo, suit. I got it all. Once I go again once, and get used to it again, I'll be back as often as I can.

Ben's surgery is Wednesday. Poor little guy. Not to sound selfish, and it does, but it throws a wrench in my training plans. Just makes the coordination of things harder.

I looked at the calendar today, and I should really have done that last week. I have about 30 days left to train.

Physically, I'm ready to roll in there and complete it. But I want to do better than complete, I want to place. I came so close at the last one, it seems inevitable for me to do better. And I will, if I can whip this thing together.

Whip it together and start to do better at stuff. It's a longer swim. I struggled at Wild Dog. It's a flatter course, I did better on the hills at Wild Dog...

I'm going back to the old plan for now. At week four. The maintenance stuff isn't going to advance what I want to do.

I ran today. I wanted to do seven miles, but I cut it short for time? Really? Normally I wouldn't bother. It was motivation. Or the lack thereof.

Going to bed so I can be alert for swimming.